March 12 2018

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, March 12, 2018

Continuing with our Make It Matter theme, when we lose a loved one, the loss often invites us to consider how to make life matter in new ways. These considerations start with how we choose to care for our loved one after death, and continue through how we choose to live our lives.

One of the first choices after death is services. You have three general choices.

The first choice is having no gatherings or services and is similar to the following sentence:
My loved one lived a life
Did you notice there is no punctuation at the end of that sentence? That is what having no services can feel like, you are left hanging and in limbo.

The second choice is having a “cookie cutter” service and is like this sentence:
My loved one lived a life.
This time there is a period at the end of the sentence letting us know a life ended, but that is all we know.

The third choice is a personalized service or gathering unique to your loved one and depicted by this sentence:
My loved one lived a life!
We now know a life ended and recognize what that life meant and will always mean. Studies have shown that services help you on your healing journey as well.

(First printed in the Gazette on February 22, 2018)

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

March 30 2020

Below are the final two of Dr. Karen Wyatt’s seven ways to use grief to unite us from the End-of-Life University podcast, “How Grief Unites Us: To Stand Together for Love”: Find harmony with other...

March 23 2020

Continuing our discussion of Dr. Karen Wyatt’s seven ways to use grief to unite us from the End-of-Life University podcast, “How Grief Unites Us: To Stand Together for Love,” below are the next thr...

March 16 2020

In her End-of-Life University Podcast segment “How Grief Unites Us: To Stand Together for Love,” physician Karen Wyatt offers seven ways to utilize grief as a bridge to other people. Please know, d...

March 9 2020

Karen Wyatt, a physician and author, shared an End-of-Life University podcast entitled, “How Grief Unites Us: To Stand Together for Love.” In this segment, Karen spoke about how grief is a uni...

March 2 2020

This month our theme is “Grief Unites Us.” As I facilitate support gatherings, I’m often touched by the connections individuals make. When we’re grieving the loss of a loved one, we’re paying atten...

February 24 2020

To close out our theme of “Whispers of the Heart,” I want to share this poem from Joyce Rupp and encourage you to listen to the whispers and pay attention to the star in your heart. A Star In My H...

February 17 2020

In addition to the whispers of our hearts helping us feel the pain of our loss and moving it from the inside to the outside, the whispers can also remind us of our hidden wholeness. As Parker Palme...

February 10 2020

Alice Walker said, “In each of us, there is a little voice that knows exactly which way to go.” When we’re grieving, it may not feel like that. Our heart whispers might be quiet or they might be lo...

February 3 2020

This month our theme is “Whispers of the Heart.” I’m a big believer in listening to our hearts. We all have a head, a heart and a body and they each speak to us. Our hearts have a lot to say. When ...

January 27 2020

Another important piece of the “You got this!” encouragement for us as grievers includes reminding us to take care of ourselves. Grief can be exhausting and we need to be gentle with ourselves on t...