July 16 2018

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, July 16, 2018

Shifting Your Connection is a topic I appreciate discussing with individuals. Many mourners are afraid of being judged for wanting to continue bonds with their deceased loved ones and they’re so grateful to learn that this behavior is common and even healthy. I’ve had lots of one-on-one conversations that eventually turn to a quietly asked question along the lines of, “Is it okay that I __________ (fill in the blank with ‘talk to,’ ‘write to,’ etc.) my loved one?” After I assure them this behavior is “okay,” I often ask, “Does it bring you comfort?” And the reply is usually, “Yes.” I encourage them that comfort is good and if they ever feel they’re stuck in the past, meeting with a mental health counselor is recommended.

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

December 9 2019

As we continue with our theme of “It’s a Wonderful Life!” I have people in my life who I want to learn the lesson of how they’ve mattered; you probably do too. Why not tell them by finishing this s...

December 2 2019

This month our theme is “It’s a Wonderful Life!” One of my all-time favorite movies is It’s a Wonderful Life! When I was a child, it was shown multiple times each holiday season and every time Zuzu...

November 25 2019

Not only is it important to learn to listen to grievers and others, it is important to learn to listen to ourselves. I appreciate these words from Philip Cousineau: “Ask yourself what is absurd in...

November 18 2019

After I sit and listen to stories of deceased loved ones’ lives, many family members tell me how cathartic the time was. The same sentiment is often shared after personalized and meaningful ceremon...

November 11 2019

Learning to Listen takes practice. In casual conversation, we listen while also thinking about what we’ll say next. Deep listening means our focus is solely on the speaker. We allow them to say wha...

November 4 2019

This month our theme is “Learn to Listen.” We listen to others all day. But do we really listen or do we just hear? In my work as a spiritual director, celebrant and end-of-life doula, listening is...

October 28 2019

This week we’ll look at the social realm of self-care. Alan Wolfelt’s work encourages finding a grief buddy, recognizing that friends will probably change, and remembering that others also had a sp...

October 21 2019

When we think about the cognitive realm of self-care on the grief journey, that too is as unique as we are. Alan Wolfelt recommends answering these two questions: What do I want? What is wanted of ...

October 14 2019

As we continue this month’s discussion about the uniqueness of self-care, we’ll look at the emotional realm. All kinds of emotions can be a part of our grief journeys. Alan Wolfelt suggests some wa...

October 7 2019

This month our theme is “Self-Care is Unique.” Self-care is always important and when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one it is even more so. Grief takes a lot of energy and can feel like a hea...