June 10 2019
Monday, June 10, 2019
This week we continue with the theme, Grief. Companions Come in Many Forms.” I share with you now, Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D.’s 11 Tenets of Companioning the Bereaved:
Companioning is about…
- Being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking away the pain.
- Going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.
- Honoring the spirit; it is not about focusing on the intellect.
- Listening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head.
- Bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about judging or directing these struggles.
- Walking alongside; it is not about leading.
- Discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it is not about filling up every moment with words.
- Being still; it is not about frantic movement forward.
- Respecting disorder and confusion; it is not about imposing order and logic.
- Learning from others; it is not about teaching them.
Compassionate curiosity; it is not about expertise.
Because many of us have the desire to “fix” others’ problems, these tenets may sound hard to do, but in the end they are an incredible gifts to others.
Previous Posts
August 19 2019
As we continue to discuss our theme, “Change is Loss,” I want to share a post created by Melinda Seley, PLPC, on http://avenuescounselingcenter.org.
I am often asked in the counseling room what it...
August 12 2019
Many of the people I companion are grieving the loss of a loved one – a change readily accepted as a loss in our culture. However, other changes aren’t as readily accepted as a loss, like divorce, ...
August 5 2019
We created the 2019 monthly themes over eight months ago, and at that time I had no idea how appropriate our August theme would be for me. This month’s theme is “Change is Loss.” My family and I ar...
July 29 2019
As we close this month’s discussion of the theme Life Goes On, How Do You?, we acknowledge that we also go on after a loved one dies by remembering them. Today on her birthday, we remember Margie F...
July 22 2019
Life goes on, how do you? James was right. I was grieving, not the loss of a loved one, but the loss of how I used to look and my life before basal cell carcinoma. With the invitation from James th...
July 15 2019
After six weeks of my nose and cheek being hidden, and although the surgeon told me “You’re good to go,” I didn’t feel that way at all. My face was red and swollen and I felt badly about walking ba...
July 8 2019
Continuing with my story of Life goes on, how do you?... After our daughter’s graduation, I returned to the surgeon, who cut a flap of skin from my cheek and grafted it to my nose while keepi...
July 1 2019
Our theme this month is “Life Goes On, How Do You?” Although it wasn’t the loss of a loved one, I experienced a loss six years ago that brought me face to face with the question, Life goes on, how ...
June 24 2019
As we’ve been saying this month, grief companions come in many forms. In addition to humans, animals can be incredible companions for us on our grief journeys. I know our dog, Lady, helped us throu...
June 17 2019
At an education and support group I co-facilitated, we asked the participants to think about who had been the most supportive companions on their grief journeys. The answers came in many forms – fa...
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