August 19 2019

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, August 19, 2019

As we continue to discuss our theme, “Change is Loss,” I want to share a post created by Melinda Seley, PLPC, on http://avenuescounselingcenter.org.

I am often asked in the counseling room what it looks like to grieve.  And though it looks different for everyone, in every situation I believe there are some core components to this process of grieving:

  • Name what has been lost. This includes very specific details of what you lost – because every single detail matters in understanding how you have been impacted.
  • Allow yourself to feel. Sadness can be uncomfortable. And deep sorrow can be scary. But healing cannot come until you face your pain. 
  • Consider if there is something you need to do to honor your pain or what has been lost. Do you need to journal about what ____ meant to you?  Do you need to create a photo book? Do you need to tell someone something? 
  • Recognize that grieving is not a linear or predictable process. Grief can often be surprising and strike us when we are most vulnerable. A smell, a taste, a word spoken can bring with it a flood of thoughts and emotions that require going back to step one above. That is okay. That is how grief works. It is an ongoing, unpredictable process.

If change is loss and loss requires grief…it logically follows that change requires grief.  Have you considered this in your life?  Even changes that are bringing about something good have some element of loss intertwined with them when we stop to fully consider it.  How might it be helpful for you to name change as loss and grieve that loss today?

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

September 23 2019

The philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche, once said, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” So I guess in the end, what gives us strength can be the grief itself, even though we would rather ...

September 16 2019

Other things that have given me strength on my grief journeys are my 4-3-2-1-! on Hope, Healing and Wholeness. In my own life and in companioning others, these practices, skills, intentions, postur...

September 9 2019

When I think about what has given me strength for different grief journeys in my life, several words come to mind – faith, belief, trust, love and hope. Albert Einstein once said, “The most importa...

September 2 2019

This month our theme is “What Gives You Strength?” It is curious to me that people who are grieving often feel like they are weak. What I see is so much strength. Allowing yourself to grieve takes ...

August 26 2019

I want to follow-up on the final question from Melinda Seley, PLPC, in last week’s post. “How might it be helpful for you to name change as loss and grieve that loss today?” In our culture, we have...

August 12 2019

Many of the people I companion are grieving the loss of a loved one – a change readily accepted as a loss in our culture. However, other changes aren’t as readily accepted as a loss, like divorce, ...

August 5 2019

We created the 2019 monthly themes over eight months ago, and at that time I had no idea how appropriate our August theme would be for me. This month’s theme is “Change is Loss.” My family and I ar...

July 29 2019

As we close this month’s discussion of the theme Life Goes On, How Do You?, we acknowledge that we also go on after a loved one dies by remembering them. Today on her birthday, we remember Margie F...

July 22 2019

Life goes on, how do you? James was right. I was grieving, not the loss of a loved one, but the loss of how I used to look and my life before basal cell carcinoma. With the invitation from James th...

July 15 2019

After six weeks of my nose and cheek being hidden, and although the surgeon told me “You’re good to go,” I didn’t feel that way at all. My face was red and swollen and I felt badly about walking ba...