August 19 2019

As we continue to discuss our theme, “Change is Loss,” I want to share a post created by Melinda Seley, PLPC, on http://avenuescounselingcenter.org.

I am often asked in the counseling room what it looks like to grieve.  And though it looks different for everyone, in every situation I believe there are some core components to this process of grieving:

• Name what has been lost. This includes very specific details of what you lost – because every single detail matters in understanding how you have been impacted.
• Allow yourself to feel. Sadness can be uncomfortable. And deep sorrow can be scary. But healing cannot come until you face your pain. 
• Consider if there is something you need to do to honor your pain or what has been lost. Do you need to journal about what ____ meant to you?  Do you need to create a photo book? Do you need to tell someone something? 
• Recognize that grieving is not a linear or predictable process. Grief can often be surprising and strike us when we are most vulnerable. A smell, a taste, a word spoken can bring with it a flood of thoughts and emotions that require going back to step one above. That is okay. That is how grief works. It is an ongoing, unpredictable process.

If change is loss and loss requires grief…it logically follows that change requires grief.  Have you considered this in your life?  Even changes that are bringing about something good have some element of loss intertwined with them when we stop to fully consider it.  How might it be helpful for you to name change as loss and grieve that loss today?