July 11 2022

By: Jackie Naginey Hook
Monday, July 11, 2022

Releasing regrets can be an important part of the dying and grief journeys. And this often involves forgiveness. Forgiveness of ourselves and others can be challenging. I appreciate Everett Worthington’s REACH model:

R - Recall the hurt without fantasies about revenge or feelings of victimization. Be kind to yourself and seek help if needed. 

E - Empathize with the offender and try to see their perspective. Look for an explanation that will help you let go. Also recognize times when you hurt others.

A – Altruism.  Give the altruistic gift of forgiveness.  Remember the gratitude and freedom you felt when someone gave you the forgiveness gift and give this same gift to the offender. 

C - Commit to forgive the offender. Hold yourself accountable by telling someone or writing it in a journal or letter to the offender you don’t send. 

H - Hold onto forgiveness when you still remember the hurt.  Remind yourself of your decision to forgive and spend more time with the REACH steps.     

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