June 10 2019

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, June 10, 2019

This week we continue with the theme, Grief. Companions Come in Many Forms.” I share with you now, Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D.’s 11 Tenets of Companioning the Bereaved:

Companioning is about…

  • Being present to another person’s pain; it is not about taking away the pain.
  • Going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being; it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.
  • Honoring the spirit; it is not about focusing on the intellect.
  • Listening with the heart; it is not about analyzing with the head.
  • Bearing witness to the struggles of others; it is not about judging or directing these struggles.
  • Walking alongside; it is not about leading.
  • Discovering the gifts of sacred silence; it is not about filling up every moment with words.
  • Being still; it is not about frantic movement forward.
  • Respecting disorder and confusion; it is not about imposing order and logic.
  • Learning from others; it is not about teaching them.

Compassionate curiosity; it is not about expertise. 

Because many of us have the desire to “fix” others’ problems, these tenets may sound hard to do, but in the end they are an incredible gifts to others.

Source: www.centerforloss.com 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

July 26 2021

To summarize the study we’ve discussed the past couple of weeks, we look to psychologist Noam Schneck, Ph.D. who states: “… healing and growth may continue even when a person is not actively thinki...

July 19 2021

As we continue with our theme of “Embrace Unconscious Grief,” last week we introduced the idea that the brain can find a balance between too much and too little focus on loss. Psychologist Noam Sch...

July 12 2021

Previous studies of grief processing suggested a Goldilocks effect. Too little conscious focus on the loss meant avoidance and too much focus meant unhealthy rumination. Both of these experiences w...

July 5 2021

This month our theme is “Embrace Unconscious Grief.” As I thought about this theme, I was reminded how fascinating the human body is, and in this case, the human mind. We have a conscious mind and ...

June 28 2021

Breathing in the moments seems very simple but it takes practice. The past is behind us, the future is ahead and what we have is this moment right now. How do we want to be present to it? I encoura...

June 21 2021

Last week I posed the question, “What are the moments when you feel ‘the rapture of being alive?’” When we think about feeling alive, we usually think about moments of joy, happiness and bliss. How...

June 14 2021

As we continue with our theme of “Breathe in Moments,” I think of a Joseph Campbell quote I’ve always liked: People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what...

June 7 2021

This month our theme is “Breathe in Moments.” As I’ve gotten older, I’ve really grown to appreciate the importance of moments, being present to moments and breathing them in. Many people on the gri...

May 31 2021

Happy Memorial Day! I encourage you to take time today remembering and honoring those who died while serving in the U.S. military!

May 24 2021

As an end-of-life doula, I have the incredible honor of companioning people as they get ready to transition from this world. Much of that journey involves tending their inner gardens. People notice...