July 15 2019

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, July 15, 2019

After six weeks of my nose and cheek being hidden, and although the surgeon told me “You’re good to go,” I didn’t feel that way at all. My face was red and swollen and I felt badly about walking back into the world looking that way. The bandages definitely attracted attention in public, but it felt harder to show myself as I now was bandage-free. Life goes on, how do you?

I went home and that evening my husband, John, and I were taking dinner to our daughter, Jess, who was a lifeguard at Welch Pool at the time. We pulled up in front of the pool and I said to John, “I can’t do this.” I wasn’t ready to go out before others. John took the meal in and we drove away. When we got home, I went up to my favorite spot in our house and looked at the mountain range. Our son, James, knew I was upset and came to see me. James asked me to drive him to swim practice that night.

As we drove to the pool, James said, “I bet you’re wondering why I asked you to drive me tonight. It’s because I wanted to talk to you. You’re grieving now and that is a good thing because you’ll learn even more about grief to help the people with your work.” To be continued next week…

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

July 26 2021

To summarize the study we’ve discussed the past couple of weeks, we look to psychologist Noam Schneck, Ph.D. who states: “… healing and growth may continue even when a person is not actively thinki...

July 19 2021

As we continue with our theme of “Embrace Unconscious Grief,” last week we introduced the idea that the brain can find a balance between too much and too little focus on loss. Psychologist Noam Sch...

July 12 2021

Previous studies of grief processing suggested a Goldilocks effect. Too little conscious focus on the loss meant avoidance and too much focus meant unhealthy rumination. Both of these experiences w...

July 5 2021

This month our theme is “Embrace Unconscious Grief.” As I thought about this theme, I was reminded how fascinating the human body is, and in this case, the human mind. We have a conscious mind and ...

June 28 2021

Breathing in the moments seems very simple but it takes practice. The past is behind us, the future is ahead and what we have is this moment right now. How do we want to be present to it? I encoura...

June 21 2021

Last week I posed the question, “What are the moments when you feel ‘the rapture of being alive?’” When we think about feeling alive, we usually think about moments of joy, happiness and bliss. How...

June 14 2021

As we continue with our theme of “Breathe in Moments,” I think of a Joseph Campbell quote I’ve always liked: People say that what we’re all seeking is a meaning for life. I don’t think that’s what...

June 7 2021

This month our theme is “Breathe in Moments.” As I’ve gotten older, I’ve really grown to appreciate the importance of moments, being present to moments and breathing them in. Many people on the gri...

May 31 2021

Happy Memorial Day! I encourage you to take time today remembering and honoring those who died while serving in the U.S. military!

May 24 2021

As an end-of-life doula, I have the incredible honor of companioning people as they get ready to transition from this world. Much of that journey involves tending their inner gardens. People notice...