Resolutions or Intentions

I’ve never been a person who is drawn to making New Year’s resolutions. Primarily because if I want to make a change in myself, I’ll make the change when I realize I want to make it rather than wait until New Years to do so. And secondly, resolutions often feel judgmental to me. They imply “good” or “bad” behavior.

Instead, I have been drawn to creating heartfelt intentions for myself. These heartfelt intentions feel more compassionate and all-encompassing. For example, a resolution might be to change my sleep pattern so I follow a consistent sleep schedule. The intention beneath this might be to nurture myself.

However, sometimes changes are very appropriate and necessary. When I had a concussion a couple of years ago, I was given specific lifestyle guidelines to follow, including adhering to the same go-to-sleep and wake-up times every day. That change, in addition to other daily guidelines such as exerting myself physically, spending time in socially diverse and active environments, and doing vestibular exercises, helped me to fully recover in two short months – after having six months of continued symptoms.

But with my concussion behind me, I no longer feel a mandated need to achieve a consistent sleep schedule and maintain that change. I do, however, feel the desire to nurture myself with my sleep, and to listen and respond to my body’s cues about when and how long I should sleep. I’ve found that a sleep schedule helps me do just that. Nurturing feels loving and kind, and those qualities can never steer me in the wrong direction.

In my family, we often talk about words that we use to describe and reflect our intentions – our intentions being the things we want to spend time with, notice, and bring into our lives more. At different times, one of those intentional words has been “nurture” for me.

Nurture comes from the Latin nutrire -- "to nourish, suckle." With many things going on in our world these days, we could all use a little nurturing and nourishment.

I invite you to consider the intention of nurturing yourself. Maybe it would be with little things such as giving yourself time instead of rushing to make a meeting or deadline. Or going outside every day and benefitting from the many nurturing aspects of nature, or having open and honest conversations with loved ones. There are countless ways to nurture yourself.

Make sure that you consider nurturing yourself in your many dimensions – your physical, cognitive, spiritual and emotional selves. And don’t forget about your social self – the need to be and spend time with others.  

Also recognize that nurturing yourself is not a once and done proposition. Take it one step at a time and incorporate nurturing as you go.

You can end this year nurturing yourself by attending the Koch Funeral Home 2nd Annual Luminaria Memorial Display between dusk and dawn on December 31st. Please stop by to see the more than 275 candlelit bags placed on the lawn representing the individuals who died and were cared for by Koch during 2022. The lights are a beautiful sight and are nurturing in that they help us focus on what really matters.

And if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, we offer many gatherings and events to help nurture yourself. In particular, if you’ve lost a pregnancy or young infant, we are a part of the Footprints in the Field Grief and Loss Support Program that will be offered virtually on Thursdays, January 26 through March 2 from 6 to 7 p.m.

Other upcoming programs include:

• Monday’s Moments Virtual Gathering on Monday, January 9 from noon to 1:30 p.m.. 
• Grief Healing Circle on Wednesday, January 11 from 6:00 to 7:00 p.m.. 
• Monday’s Moments at Schlow Library on Monday, January 23 from noon to 1:30 p.m. at Schlow Library, 211 S. Allen Street, State College.
• Death Café Virtual Gathering on Monday, January 16 from 4:30 to 5:30 p.m..
• “Grief Surprises” State of the Story Storytelling Event on Monday, February 20 at 7:00 p.m. at Webster’s Bookstore and Café, 133 E. Beaver Avenue, State College.

For more information, please visit the Bereavement Gatherings and Events page on the Koch Funeral Home website. To reserve your spot and receive the invitation links, email Jackie@JackieHook.com, call 814-237-2712 or visit the Koch Funeral Home Facebook page @kochFH.

Here's to a nurturing 2023!

Jackie Naginey Hook, MA, is a spiritual director, celebrant and end-of-life doula.  She coordinates the Helping Grieving Hearts Heal program through Koch Funeral Home in State College.  For more information, please call 814-237-2712 or visit www.kochfuneralhome.com.