2020 - June - Gazette - #BePresentWithKoch

By: Dar Bellissimo
Thursday, June 25, 2020

#BePresentWithKoch

Presence is important in so many ways. I’ve heard countless stories of loved ones waiting for a particular someone to be present with them before they died. I’ve also heard stories of loved ones waiting to be alone – in the presence of only themselves – before passing. I’ve had families tell me how touched they were by the presence of friends at their loved ones’ services and grieving people tell me how meaningful it was when others were simply present with them.

When we talk about being present, you may think of being mindful or mindfulness. I like what author and Benedictine Monk, David Steindl-Rast, said, “I think ‘wholeheartedness’ is the English word that expresses better what mindfulness as a technical term means; that you respond to every situation from your center, from your heart – that you listen with your heart to every situation, and your heart elicits the response.”

Being present in the moment is about listening to your heart. And listening to your heart takes courage. The root of the word courage is “cor” which in Latin means heart. It’s about listening to your heart and what it tells you about you, as well as what it tells you about those in your presence. It’s about recognizing that the most important people in the world are those who are before you at any given moment.

During the pandemic, our options of being present have changed. For health and safety reasons, sometimes we can’t be in the close physical presence of our loved ones so we try to find other ways to connect.

Thankfully, at Koch Funeral Home, the options of being present continue to grow. Since Centre County is now in the Green Phase of reopening, we are able to have public visitations and services. To follow the recommended health guidelines, we are limiting these public gatherings to 50 percent of our capacity, or 60 people, to accommodate social distancing. In addition, we are requiring mask wearing. Families who have participated in this new format have been very appreciative of the friends whose hearts said yes and were able to be present.

But maybe being physically present isn’t something you’re comfortable doing. If your heart says no, you have options as well. With remote viewing, virtual, drive-through and drive-up choices, you can be present in other ways. I’ve spoken with people who’ve remotely attended funerals and were pleasantly surprised by their experiences. They were grateful to have the opportunity to be present online knowing they wouldn’t have been there in person. In addition, they were taken by how drawn in they were to the service – to them it felt much like being physically there. To see detailed descriptions of the many ways to be present, please visit the Because Love Can’t Wait page under Funeral Planning on www.kochfuneralhome.com.

Whether you choose public, private, virtual, remote, drive-up or drive-through, remember to be present to your heart and those of people in your presence. Because we believe so strongly in the power of presence, we’re starting a video series entitled, #BePresentWithKoch. In each video, we’ll talk about a different topic. For example, in July, F. Glenn Fleming, supervisor and funeral director at Koch, will be with me to discuss being present at rituals and why they are important. For more information, visit the Blog page on the website.

In addition to watching our videos, you are invited to be present at one of our upcoming gatherings:

Additional information can be found by visiting the Bereavement Gatherings and Events page on the website. To RSVP and receive the online link invitation, email Jackie Hook by using the cotact form below, call 814-404-0546 or visit the Koch Funeral Home Facebook page

With a practice of presence, we hope you find what poet, David Whyte, said, “Beauty is the harvest of presence.”

Jackie Naginey Hook, MA, is a spiritual director, celebrant and end-of-life doula.  She coordinates the Helping Grieving Hearts Heal program through Koch Funeral Home in State College.  For more information, please call 814-237-2712 or visit www.kochfuneralhome.com.         

 

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:
Please enter the numbers and letters you see in the image. Note that the case of the letters entered matters.

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

2023 - March - CDT - Helping Hands - Programs to Move Grief to the Outside

One of my roles with Koch Funeral Home’s “Helping Grieving Hearts Heal” program is to create safe places to give people an opportunity to move their grief from the inside to the outside. Each time ...

2023 - March - CDT - Good Life - A Grief Education and Support Series

A Grief Education and Support Series I could see some of the participants holding back tears as we began introductions at the grief education and support group. The invitation was to share their n...

2023 - February - Gazette - Organ Donation

Organ Donation Full circle moments sometimes surprise us. Breanne Radin Yeckley is a funeral director at Koch Funeral Home who, during her college years, played soccer at Gannon University in Eri...

2023 - February - Learning to Live: What's Your Story?

Fully-Alive and Soul-Fed Storytelling It was a cold, rainy night last week when ten people arrived at my house and began mingling around the snack table. After 30 minutes of small-talk we moved in...

2023 - January - Gazette - Choices in the care of the deceased

Choices in the care of the deceased I received a call from the daughter of a 96-year-old woman who had died. The daughter was looking for someone to officiate at her mother’s funeral service,...

2023 - January - Town & Gown - Loss, Grief, Gratitude and Humor

Loss, Grief, Gratitude and Humor When I was invited to write a piece for the Pink Zone insert, I wondered what I could say to be helpful. I have never had breast cancer or been treated with c...

2022 - December - Gazette - Resolutions or Intensions

Resolutions or Intentions I’ve never been a person who is drawn to making New Year’s resolutions. Primarily because if I want to make a change in myself, I’ll make the change when I realize I want...

2022 - December - Gazette - 2nd Annual Luminaria Memorial Display

 2nd Annual Luminaria Memorial Display Last New Year’s Eve, I picked up my parents from their local retirement community and took them for a drive in search of a very special light show. As i...

2022 - November - Gazette - What Really Matters

What Really Matters “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” As we begin this holiday season, I invite all of us to contemplate these words from writer Annie Dillard. How do ...

2022 - November - CNN - Dogs know just when we need them most ...

We're grateful to Madeline Holcombe with CNN for including Koch Funeral Home and Monroe, our grief therapy dog, in her story about how dogs impact grief. Thank you, Madeline! Read more here.