March 19 2018

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, March 19, 2018

Today, we’ll continue to look at how families make it matter by adding exclamation points to the ways they care for their loved ones at death. This can be done in many ways. They can have a ceremony and share pieces of their loved one’s life story. They can include favorite poems, readings and music. They can bring personal items to share, including pictures, tribute videos and other memorabilia. The options are endless.

If the family doesn’t want a full ceremony, they can have a remembrance service. When someone we care about dies, we have an innate need to come together and tell the stories of their life. It is an important part of the healing process to set aside this time and create a space to remember. A remembrance service is a smaller, more intimate gathering with opportunities to say things that otherwise may not be said. In one such gathering I facilitated, an “ex-family” member shared how grateful they were to have still been included in this family. From the reactions of those gathered, it was clear this sentiment had never been shared before. 

(First printed in the Gazette on February 22, 2018)

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

July 6 2020

Our theme this month is “Why Are Rituals Important?” This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart and part of the reason why I became a spiritual director, Life-Cycle Celebrant™ and end-of-lif...

June 29 2020

I want to leave this month’s theme of “How Do You Calm Yourself?” with a poem written by author and retreat leader Kent Ira Groff and entitled, "There & Here:" You can't get there from here. O...

June 22 2020

When we look to the past, we can sometimes feel regret and when we look to the future, we can feel anxiety. But if we come into the present, the regrets and anxiety aren’t there. We have the moment...

June 15 2020

If you google, “how do you calm yourself,” you will find many lists of ideas. For me, I default to a spiritual practice created by Mary Mrozowski entitled Welcoming Prayer. This is something I do w...

June 8 2020

Another important point about our theme “How Do You Calm Yourself?” is the need to take care of yourself so that your body, mind and spirit are best equipped to deal with stressors and anxiety. Whe...

June 1 2020

The theme we chose for this month is “How Do You Calm Yourself?” The first point I want to make is maybe it’s not something you need to do. Stress is what moves us to take action and turns into a p...

May 25 2020

As we conclude this month’s discussion of becoming a butterfly, I leave you with this quote by Maya Angelou said: “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has go...

May 18 2020

Another comparison between becoming a butterfly and going through the grief of losing a loved one has to do with the struggle involved. If you watch a butterfly as it emerges from its chrysalis, it...

May 11 2020

In order for a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it takes time in a cocoon. It spins a cocoon, gives up its life as a caterpillar and begins to transform. The cocoon provides protection while the ...

May 4 2020

Our theme this month is “Becoming the Butterfly.” We sometimes call grief one of the dark emotions. The darkness is obscure. Before a butterfly emerges from a chrysalis, it is in darkness. A lot go...