May 14 2018

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, May 14, 2018

As we continue with our theme of Nurturing, Where Do You Begin and the story of the patriarch who died, the gifts from nurturing continued. All of the patriarch’s grown children had returned home to help care for him in his final days. He appreciated having them near, they valued their time with him, and they became closer as they worked together and supported one another. Once he was settled in at home, extended family and friends stopped by to express their love, confirm they were each his “favorite” (a longstanding game) and say their goodbyes. This patriarch took it all in. His energy level increased for these four days of visits, and then once the last group left, his attention turned inward. He lived until the following morning.

These children gave their father the gift of dying at home surrounded by them as he wished. He gave his family the gift of love, authenticity, the model of living fully until the very end and a lesson in the importance of family and community.

After his death, his family had a wake, funeral service and burial. They personalized each of these with a tribute video, pictures, quotes, motorcycle police, color guard and taps. The number of participants and outpouring of support was overwhelming.

The family and friends continue to grieve this patriarch’s loss, but they do so knowing he was well-loved and supported. They know they are too. This knowing helps to carry them as they mourn.

All of the gifts of this experience were ways of nurturing - nurturing selves and others.

(Adapted from the article first printed in the Gazette on May 3, 2018)

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

June 29 2020

I want to leave this month’s theme of “How Do You Calm Yourself?” with a poem written by author and retreat leader Kent Ira Groff and entitled, "There & Here:" You can't get there from here. O...

June 22 2020

When we look to the past, we can sometimes feel regret and when we look to the future, we can feel anxiety. But if we come into the present, the regrets and anxiety aren’t there. We have the moment...

June 15 2020

If you google, “how do you calm yourself,” you will find many lists of ideas. For me, I default to a spiritual practice created by Mary Mrozowski entitled Welcoming Prayer. This is something I do w...

June 8 2020

Another important point about our theme “How Do You Calm Yourself?” is the need to take care of yourself so that your body, mind and spirit are best equipped to deal with stressors and anxiety. Whe...

June 1 2020

The theme we chose for this month is “How Do You Calm Yourself?” The first point I want to make is maybe it’s not something you need to do. Stress is what moves us to take action and turns into a p...

May 25 2020

As we conclude this month’s discussion of becoming a butterfly, I leave you with this quote by Maya Angelou said: “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has go...

May 18 2020

Another comparison between becoming a butterfly and going through the grief of losing a loved one has to do with the struggle involved. If you watch a butterfly as it emerges from its chrysalis, it...

May 11 2020

In order for a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it takes time in a cocoon. It spins a cocoon, gives up its life as a caterpillar and begins to transform. The cocoon provides protection while the ...

May 4 2020

Our theme this month is “Becoming the Butterfly.” We sometimes call grief one of the dark emotions. The darkness is obscure. Before a butterfly emerges from a chrysalis, it is in darkness. A lot go...

April 27 2020

Last week I wrote about one way to promote inside-out healing – taking care of yourself. This week I want to talk about two others, allowing your grief and looking for light along the way. Allowing...