May 14 2018

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, May 14, 2018

As we continue with our theme of Nurturing, Where Do You Begin and the story of the patriarch who died, the gifts from nurturing continued. All of the patriarch’s grown children had returned home to help care for him in his final days. He appreciated having them near, they valued their time with him, and they became closer as they worked together and supported one another. Once he was settled in at home, extended family and friends stopped by to express their love, confirm they were each his “favorite” (a longstanding game) and say their goodbyes. This patriarch took it all in. His energy level increased for these four days of visits, and then once the last group left, his attention turned inward. He lived until the following morning.

These children gave their father the gift of dying at home surrounded by them as he wished. He gave his family the gift of love, authenticity, the model of living fully until the very end and a lesson in the importance of family and community.

After his death, his family had a wake, funeral service and burial. They personalized each of these with a tribute video, pictures, quotes, motorcycle police, color guard and taps. The number of participants and outpouring of support was overwhelming.

The family and friends continue to grieve this patriarch’s loss, but they do so knowing he was well-loved and supported. They know they are too. This knowing helps to carry them as they mourn.

All of the gifts of this experience were ways of nurturing - nurturing selves and others.

(Adapted from the article first printed in the Gazette on May 3, 2018)

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

September 26 2022

As we close out this month thinking about opening to moments and transitions, please hear these words by John O’Donohue: “…You can trust the promise of this opening; Unfurl yourself into the grace...

September 19 2022

When we think about opening to moments and transitions, it helps if we feel grounded. If we feel like we’re just hanging out on a limb, opening is rough. But if our feet are firmly planted on the g...

September 12 2022

Continuing with our theme of “Open to Moments and Transitions,” fear is often the reason we don’t want to open to moments and transitions. We feel vulnerable when we are open and when we’re vulnera...

September 5 2022

This month our theme is “Open to Moments and Transitions.” I like the word “open.” It sends a strong message. We intuitively know the difference between feeling open and feeling closed. Open feels ...

August 29 2022

As we close out August, below are five more ideas of ways to honor our loved ones’ legacies. Participate in some of their favorite hobbies, even if you have a lot to learn about them. Make amen...

August 22 2022

We’re moving on to ideas 16 through 20 of ways to honor our loved ones’ legacies. Write a letter and air anything that may have been left unsaid. Adopt a section of highway in their name. Sing...

August 15 2022

This week I’m sharing ideas 11 through 15 of ways to honor our loved ones’ legacies. Read their favorite books. Volunteer for their favorite causes, or give a donation in their name. Plant a f...

August 8 2022

Continuing with our theme of “Legacy and Loss,” below are five more ways to honor your loved ones’ legacies. Cook their favorite meal. The aroma and taste will bring back amazing memories. Make...

August 1 2022

This month our theme is “Legacy and Loss.” When we lose people we love, their legacies live on in us and in this world. As Allison Gilbert said in her book Passed and Present: Keeping Memories of L...

July 25 2022

I’ll end this month’s posts about releasing regrets with these words from Mary Oliver’s poem, “In Blackwater Woods.” …To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mo...