July 22 2019

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, July 22, 2019

Life goes on, how do you? James was right. I was grieving, not the loss of a loved one, but the loss of how I used to look and my life before basal cell carcinoma. With the invitation from James that this could be a good thing, I paid careful attention to my experience and learned that:

  • We can heal from emotional wounds like we do physical ones. The healing comes from the inside out in some miraculous way and we need to take care of ourselves so it can happen.
  • We need to listen to our bodies and heed their call as long as it isn’t unhealthy. Cry and laugh as we feel the emotions.
  • The healing takes a lot longer than we want.
  • Out of nowhere, we can feel pain as we heal. In grief we call these griefbursts.
  • Reach out for help and support. I needed several additional treatments over the next few years to minimize the scarring. Counselors, grief companions, clergy and support groups can all be important on the grief journey.
  • You are not the same person as you were before and you end up with scars.
  • Life goes on, how do you? You do your best to take care of yourself, listen to your body, seek support from others and take baby steps.
  • You never forget but you make life new again.

I also leaned on the words of Julian of Norwich, “All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

April 19 2021

“Leaning Into Sorrow” is something I’m privileged to witness on a regular basis. I companion people as they are dying, as a loved one is dying, and after a loved one has died. As I do this, I’m con...

April 12 2021

Continuing with our theme of “Leaning Into Sorrow,” our natural inclination is to lean away from pain. I often quote Robert Frost, “The best way out is always through.” I’ve learned in both my pers...

April 5 2021

This month our theme is “Leaning Into Sorrow.” According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, sorrow and grief have the same definition, “deep sadness especially for the loss of someone or something ...

March 29 2021

I’ll close out this month of posts about masculine and feminine grieving by sharing a table adapted from Thomas R. Golden’s book Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing. ...

March 22 2021

A third difference between the masculine and feminine styles of grieving is the masculine wants to connect to the future while the feminine wants to connect with the past. The masculine wants to us...

March 15 2021

Another difference between the masculine and feminine styles of grieving is the masculine is private and quiet while the feminine is emotionally expressive and relationship-oriented. Unfortunately,...

March 8 2021

Continuing with our theme of “Masculine & Feminine Grieving,” one of the big differences between the two styles is the masculine is more active and the feminine is more interactive. Someone who...

March 1 2021

This month our theme is “Masculine & Feminine Grieving.” It is important to recognize that each of us is made up of a unique blend of masculine and feminine qualities. This blend affects how we...

February 22 2021

I leave you this month with the closing quote from my article: As we think about being courageous and listening to our hearts, consider these words from Henri Nouwen, a writer and Catholic priest:...

February 15 2021

Here is more of the “Heartfelt Support” article:             In one of our support series, we asked the group to think of the person who had been most supportive...