July 22 2019

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, July 22, 2019

Life goes on, how do you? James was right. I was grieving, not the loss of a loved one, but the loss of how I used to look and my life before basal cell carcinoma. With the invitation from James that this could be a good thing, I paid careful attention to my experience and learned that:

  • We can heal from emotional wounds like we do physical ones. The healing comes from the inside out in some miraculous way and we need to take care of ourselves so it can happen.
  • We need to listen to our bodies and heed their call as long as it isn’t unhealthy. Cry and laugh as we feel the emotions.
  • The healing takes a lot longer than we want.
  • Out of nowhere, we can feel pain as we heal. In grief we call these griefbursts.
  • Reach out for help and support. I needed several additional treatments over the next few years to minimize the scarring. Counselors, grief companions, clergy and support groups can all be important on the grief journey.
  • You are not the same person as you were before and you end up with scars.
  • Life goes on, how do you? You do your best to take care of yourself, listen to your body, seek support from others and take baby steps.
  • You never forget but you make life new again.

I also leaned on the words of Julian of Norwich, “All shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

July 13 2020

Rituals are important because they help put us back together. The Indo-European roots of the word ritual mean to “fit together.” And the roots of the word bereaved mean “torn apart.” Rituals are ab...

July 6 2020

Our theme this month is “Why Are Rituals Important?” This is a topic that is near and dear to my heart and part of the reason why I became a spiritual director, Life-Cycle Celebrant™ and end-of-lif...

June 29 2020

I want to leave this month’s theme of “How Do You Calm Yourself?” with a poem written by author and retreat leader Kent Ira Groff and entitled, "There & Here:" You can't get there from here. O...

June 22 2020

When we look to the past, we can sometimes feel regret and when we look to the future, we can feel anxiety. But if we come into the present, the regrets and anxiety aren’t there. We have the moment...

June 15 2020

If you google, “how do you calm yourself,” you will find many lists of ideas. For me, I default to a spiritual practice created by Mary Mrozowski entitled Welcoming Prayer. This is something I do w...

June 8 2020

Another important point about our theme “How Do You Calm Yourself?” is the need to take care of yourself so that your body, mind and spirit are best equipped to deal with stressors and anxiety. Whe...

June 1 2020

The theme we chose for this month is “How Do You Calm Yourself?” The first point I want to make is maybe it’s not something you need to do. Stress is what moves us to take action and turns into a p...

May 25 2020

As we conclude this month’s discussion of becoming a butterfly, I leave you with this quote by Maya Angelou said: “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has go...

May 18 2020

Another comparison between becoming a butterfly and going through the grief of losing a loved one has to do with the struggle involved. If you watch a butterfly as it emerges from its chrysalis, it...

May 11 2020

In order for a caterpillar to become a butterfly, it takes time in a cocoon. It spins a cocoon, gives up its life as a caterpillar and begins to transform. The cocoon provides protection while the ...