August 19 2019

By: Jackie Hook
Monday, August 19, 2019

As we continue to discuss our theme, “Change is Loss,” I want to share a post created by Melinda Seley, PLPC, on http://avenuescounselingcenter.org.

I am often asked in the counseling room what it looks like to grieve.  And though it looks different for everyone, in every situation I believe there are some core components to this process of grieving:

  • Name what has been lost. This includes very specific details of what you lost – because every single detail matters in understanding how you have been impacted.
  • Allow yourself to feel. Sadness can be uncomfortable. And deep sorrow can be scary. But healing cannot come until you face your pain. 
  • Consider if there is something you need to do to honor your pain or what has been lost. Do you need to journal about what ____ meant to you?  Do you need to create a photo book? Do you need to tell someone something? 
  • Recognize that grieving is not a linear or predictable process. Grief can often be surprising and strike us when we are most vulnerable. A smell, a taste, a word spoken can bring with it a flood of thoughts and emotions that require going back to step one above. That is okay. That is how grief works. It is an ongoing, unpredictable process.

If change is loss and loss requires grief…it logically follows that change requires grief.  Have you considered this in your life?  Even changes that are bringing about something good have some element of loss intertwined with them when we stop to fully consider it.  How might it be helpful for you to name change as loss and grieve that loss today?

Leave a comment
Name*:
Email:
Comment*:

Comments

Please wait

Previous Posts

October 26 2020

I appreciate the words whole and wholeness. I think they more aptly describe what we all desire than the words well and wellness. Well and wellness seem to imply good mental, emotional and spiritua...

October 19 2020

In the early years of HEART (Helping Empty Arms Recover Together), a support group for people who have experienced pregnancy and early infant loss, I led a series entitled “Searching for Wholeness ...

October 12 2020

In our country, approximately one in four women experiences pregnancy and early infant loss. Many of the women, men, and families affected feel like they have to grieve alone because in our culture...

October 5 2020

This month our theme is “Whole, But Not the Same.” On October 25, 1988, President Ronald Reagan declared October as National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. In his remarks he said, “When...

September 28 2020

As I’ve been contemplating and writing about our theme of finding balance, I’ve also been looking for a new balance in my own life. For the first time in almost 26 years, it is just my husband and ...

September 21 2020

Finding balance in our lives is important. It is when we are off balance that wholeness is harder to achieve.  Native American and Canada’s First Nations people use a concept that represents t...

September 14 2020

As a child, I remember learning the lesson that losing balance was painful. It’s a vivid memory. I was taking gymnastic lessons in a building on the corner of Atherton Street and College Avenue. We...

September 7 2020

Happy Labor Day! Today as we honor workers, I hope you have the opportunity to consider this month’s theme, “Finding Balance.” How do you find balance in your life? For example, how do you find wor...

August 31 2020

Much of my work centers around dying, death and grief, and as you’ll see below in the third part of a piece I wrote for the August 6 through 12 Centre County Gazette, that work fills my soul - as d...

August 24 2020

Continuing below is the second part of a piece I wrote for the August 6 through 12 Centre County Gazette on this month’s theme of “What Fills Your Soul?” I’ve had the great privilege of being pres...